I'm derailed. I have a lot to say, but I'm not sure how to get it out. My holidays were quiet, since Mr. J and I aren't really into holidays. We visited my step-daughter's family, visited with my family, spent some time with Mr. J's family.
The past couple weeks have passed in a sort of haze for me. Work has been slow and feels pointless. I enjoyed the snow, which is rare ... both the fact that we had it, and the fact that I enjoyed it.
I have reflections, lots of them; I wanted to talk about how much I've changed this past year; how much I've grown and evolved and adapted emotionally. I wanted to talk about how I spend so much of my time zen-happy and filled with a sense of peace and spirituality. But I can't find the words to describe that.
It's a new year now, and I desperately want to do something to symbolically usher the new year in, but I've got this headache that I've had for a week and a big empty place inside me where all my symbolic spiritual stuff comes from. I feel empty and useless, in ways I cannot describe and don't understand at all.