Friday, August 29, 2008

Tell me what to do

Do you ever have days where nothing is good? Today is one such day. I'm not feeling well and when I don't feel well I get aloof and distracted. This is not the same aloof and distracted that I normally am, and is nearly indistinguishable from my normal personality.

When Mr. J gets sick he wants to be taken care of. I am not good at taking care of. I can barely take care of myself, and I'm not really equipped to take care of others. I don't like to be taken care of when I'm sick for the most part. I mean, sure he's allowed to go to the store for me at any hour of the night, or make me dinner, or wait on me hand-and-foot like, but after that I like to be left alone, dammit.

When I'm sick nothing feels right. I spent most of the day at work today wanting to come home; I couldn't concentrate on work, the people there were bothering me. My phone calls were all quite annoying and the work? It was making me crazy with the amount of actual work there is to do this week.

I left early, wanting to put this week, this day behind me. I was ready to come home and have nothing to do with anything else and ... well, there isn't much for me to do here either. Oh, I could clean the bathroom that hasn't been cleaned in weeks; or I could wash the laundry that has been sitting on my bedroom floor. If I were feeling really ambitious I could do dishes and vacuum the carpet and water the plants and dust the bookcases ... all those things I swore I'd do more often when I moved that I haven't been keeping up on at all.

I'm having a real bad case of I don't want to do a goddamn thing and it's bugging me. The library is closed --they close at five-fracking-PM on Fridays!-- I don't feel like working out or doing yoga or reading or studying or knitting doing or anything else that is good for me.

And now that I'm home and away from the office, I'm thinking of that large stack of invoices that I sorted before leaving, and how easy it would be to pop back to the office for a couple hours and enter them all. Ugh.

In annoyance ...

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