Saturday, August 30, 2008


Mr. J is really sick. I thought it was just a cold but he sounds awful. I've been sick, having been a three-pack-a-day smoker prone to respiratory infections, but this is bad. He isn't eating much, and I think he's lost weight. He spends most of the night coughing, deep rumbly coughs that sound like thunder in the next room; he's been sleeping on the couch so as not to bother me during the night. I don't know what's worse: having him toss and turn and cough and hack right next to me, or hearing all those things from the other room while I subconsciously try to process the fact that my bed is empty apart from me.

Today he has something unpleasant coming from his eyes. I don't know what to make of that, except that it's likely not good. It sounds like an infection of sorts, which is also not good. Infections scare me; I can't help but think of limbs falling off and frontal lobe damage. I'm not sure where I got the idea about frontal lobe damage, honestly, but I can't help but worry. I'm not very good at the business of care-taking. I can cook the meals and feed him soup and make sure he has tissues and water and medicine. I'll even go to the store in the night. But I am notoriously lacking in the compassionate sympathy department. I wish I could be better at this wife business, but a sick husband just doesn't inspire anything warm and helpery inside me. I want him to get better, even if I'm not very good at helping him do so.

I think I'll take him to an urgent care clinic if he doesn't get better tomorrow though. I don't like it when he leaks goopy stuff out of his eyes.


Anonymous said...

you guys find out what's ailing Mr. J soon. Does he have a fever?

In the compassionate/sympathy department, do you have any pink candles? If so (or if you can get some), charge one for yourself with compassion and light the sucker! Not sure how much candle magick you're doing nowadays, but it'll help. :)

Jade said...

He's running a mild fever, yes.

Heh, and no dice on the pink candle. Jade hates pink in most varieties. I've been working more with stones lately and I do have some rose quartz. Thanks for the suggestion, I'll try that!

My fans