Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Meditating my way to sleep

I can't get comfortable.
Breathe in, breathe out.

My clothes are too tight.
Let go.

I am too warm.
Open the door of your heart.

I am tangled up in sheets and pillows and warm bodies.
Give up.

The Husband and Zoe the Cat crowding close to me.
Stop trying to control.

I can't calm my mind.
Let the mind wander.

There's knitting to be done.
Focus on the intent.

I go back to work tomorrow. I have to make a list.
Focus on the journey.

I am trying to relax. Trying not to think too far ahead.
Focus on the breath.

I breathe deeply, counting breaths. Trying to calm myself.
Focus on the mind.

I'm doing it wrong. I can't ever get this part right.
Be imperfect.

What number am I on?
Let go of expectations.

I start counting again.
Focus on love.

One...
Focus.

Two...
Focus.

Three...
Focus...

These are the words Ajahn Brahm would say to me, if he said words to me.

2 comments:

mosey along said...

Are you actually able to hear those words while you are trying to meditate? For me, they come long after the 4 a.m. insomnia hour.

Jade said...

No, absolutely not. I hear them only after spending hours doing mindless, quiet things.

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