I can't get comfortable.
Breathe in, breathe out.
My clothes are too tight.
Let go.
I am too warm.
Open the door of your heart.
I am tangled up in sheets and pillows and warm bodies.
Give up.
The Husband and Zoe the Cat crowding close to me.
Stop trying to control.
I can't calm my mind.
Let the mind wander.
There's knitting to be done.
Focus on the intent.
I go back to work tomorrow. I have to make a list.
Focus on the journey.
I am trying to relax. Trying not to think too far ahead.
Focus on the breath.
I breathe deeply, counting breaths. Trying to calm myself.
Focus on the mind.
I'm doing it wrong. I can't ever get this part right.
Be imperfect.
What number am I on?
Let go of expectations.
I start counting again.
Focus on love.
One...
Focus.
Two...
Focus.
Three...
Focus...
These are the words Ajahn Brahm would say to me, if he said words to me.
2 comments:
Are you actually able to hear those words while you are trying to meditate? For me, they come long after the 4 a.m. insomnia hour.
No, absolutely not. I hear them only after spending hours doing mindless, quiet things.
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