Emotional rut

I’ve been in a bit of an emotional rut for several years now. I think it started when my dad died in 2017; my mother in law was diagnosed with cancer just a few months after that. For a while I was working out with a friend and that was helping my mental health quite a bit. The accountability helped keep me on track, but I think the dopamine and endorphins released from exercise rival any other mood-boosting activity.

Then my mother in law passed away and Covid hit, and I’ve been struggling in some form ever since. I’ve got pretty good copying mechanisms, but I find that I struggle with the motivation to do the things that I know will help me. When I do find the energy for them, they don’t seem to be helping as much as they used to. Can one build up a tolerance to dopamine when substance abuse isn’t a factor?

I’ve been pushing through day by day but I am not really connecting to the things that keep me spiritually and emotionally grounded. Reading this quote has reinforced for me that just pushing through is unlikely to bring the changes that I want and need.

In church today, one of the speakers quoted a leader in our church: “to increase faith, we must do the things that require faith.” That resonated with me too, and leads me to feel like I should just keep pushing through even when I don’t feel motivated.

I’m not sure what the answer is for me. I’m not in crisis, but I’m not exactly thriving either.

Side note: if you’re looking for a closed-door meet-cute romance that brings Abby Jimenez vibes, check out Summer Romance by Annabel Monaghan. This book has relatable characters and while there is a third act breakup (not my favourite) it doesn’t have some of the other formulaic writing we often see in contemporary romance.

Tell me, friends: how do you get out of an emotional rut?