Focus word 2022

 

My 2022 focus word was observe. You didn’t know that though, because the post I drafted about it stayed in my drafts. Beautifully written, complete with a beginning, middle, and end and a plan. Only, drafted. 

I did not focus on observing in 2022. Much like the last couple years, I did not focus on much of anything. The idea behind the focus word, for those who may not be familiar, is to depart from the notion of a resolution (at which I have routinely failed due to a false construct around what I think that means) and instead embrace a concept or idea, identified by a simple word or phrase.

Focus words have worked so much better for me and give me more freedom to craft plans and concepts around what happiness might actually look like for me. 

When I decided to focus on observing, the idea was that I would pay attention to my mental and physical state, and see if I could draw a connection between what I was feeling and what was happening around me. From there I could make changes - to my diet, my daily routine, how I spent my downtime, how I communicated with those around me. 

One thing that I did observe was dissatisfaction at work. I do love my job - I've been at it for more than two decades, I am a recognised expert among many of my peers and colleagues, and I get to work with an amazing team who supports me and works hard. One area in particular was causing me quite a bit of stress and burnout; I advocated for change and eventually achieved it, with the help of my leadership.

I didn't have full control over those circumstances, so I can't take credit for all of the change - but advocating for myself is challenging for me (thank you, imposter syndrome). The change I sought was slow to come, and for a hot minute it looked like I was not going to get what I was working toward. I had to sit with the idea that my worth and value could not be linked to the outcome I was asking for. 

It was a stressful time for me; eventually it paid off and while I still have some frustrations, the biggest one has been eased. And I feel better.

This is the purpose of the exercise of the focus word for me. Not to get too bogged down with specifics or details or rules or self-loathing when I fail not to eat an entire Christmas cheesecake for breakfast all by myself... but to work quietly on a gentle idea, to be forgiving of myself and others, to ease myself into big change for the year ahead. Softly and slowly, day by day, until I feel just a little bit better about life.

I'm kicking around some ideas for next year's focus. I want so many things and so many changes. But I know me... and I know that if I go too big, it'll just be me and that cheesecake on January 2nd.

How about you, friends - do you do the whole new year, new me routine? What keeps you on track?