Thursday, January 9, 2014

Winter's crush

I really hate this time of day, especially in the winter: Late afternoon. 4:22PM, to be precise... it is dark-ish and because it's also January there is a very light misty drizzle happening. Now that I think about it, this should be the best time of day: curled up on my comfortable sofa, covered in a hand-made blanket crocheted by a dear friend, Bengal spice herbal tea in hand, tabby cat in lap, amazing new book open in front of me. Perhaps even a little fire going.

Instead, I'm sitting at my desk in the near-dark trying to get some last-minute work done. I work from home these days, which is good and bad. It's good because I can set my own schedule; I can do laundry in the middle of the day if I wish (I never wish, but sometimes I do it anyway); I can take time out of the day to run errands; I can even get a head-start on dinner preparations (someday I'll actually do that, I swear).

And it's bad because I don't always have the brains to stop working. So instead I sit and work and eventually realise that I haven't made a dinner plan, my kitchen is likely in some state of mess, and the clothes I washed this morning might not have made it to the dryer. I don't want to go out because it's raining, but I don't want to eat frozen pizza again because I'm also sick of bursting my clothing at the seams.

Also, I have this problem with transitions. I used to think it was just a problem stopping whatever activity I was doing, or not wanting to go to bed, or something. I've been thinking about it though, and it's transitions. That doesn't make sense.

I like change and I like growth... I mean, I think I like those things. My life is better because of those things. But I often find myself floundering and confused when I have to transition from one activity to the next, in a day-to-day way.

What is wrong with me, and why am I not in front of that fire with the cat and the tea and the book?

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