Bit by bit

I shared my theme for this year with my husband, and a funny thing happened: he adopted it conceptually and now when we talk and make plans, that word -development- crops up constantly. I know I shouldn't be surprised - my husband is amazing, after all. But what strikes me is how easily and organically it happened.

Most things are not easy for me anymore. A friend recently said to me that since she quit blogging, she can't force words out of herself any longer. That's how I feel - with blogging and writing, with exercise, cooking, housework... everything that I need to do on a routine basis feels so incredibly forced. Those of you who know me probably remember that housework and cooking were never a strength of mine so maybe that's not too surprising.

What is surprising is how lethargic I have come to feel. Don't misunderstand me, I am incredibly happy with my life and with my personal growth; I just have a few areas that need some, well, development.

In sharing this idea with my husband and then making unrelated plans with our lives, my theme has now become completely enmeshed in everything we talk about. We are planning home improvements in the hopes of a refinance soon - developing our home. We are also planning our finances, making small adjustments regularly and deciding where and how to spend our money - developing good spending habits.

I won't bore us all with more examples, and they're not really the point; the exciting thing is that I mentioned offhand that I had a personal theme for this year, something I would be focusing on and working toward, and just like that magic happened in my home. Suddenly we're more focused on our goals - personal and collective; things make a little more sense, and become a little easier than they were before.

I like that my other half is so ready to embrace what I embrace, to decide that my ideas make sense and then run with it. I also like that something so small has such a profound impact on me and my home.

I haven't cooked in weeks and the only thing that gets cleaned regularly is the bathroom (I do this nearly daily because bathrooms... gross), but I'm feeling ready to tackle life and overcome lethargy. Having a personal theme might sound cheesy but there is none of the guilt and shame-caused-by-failure that I used to feel when I would make resolutions (and eventually fail miserably without even making any progress whatsoever).

So, development. I have it.