Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I wish I was a fire engine

I'm feeling restless tonight. I want to run again, but ... (this is the part where I launch into my complaints) - I'm exhausted, my ankle hurts, it's late and I should get up early tomorrow, I have work I should be doing right now.

There's more, but I'll spare you. Mostly, I'm just restless. A couple really big things in my life are stalled right now, and I want to do something about them. Some of them I have no control over, and even when I do have control the doing is hard for me, so I'm stuck not-doing.

I'm also feeling a bit sorry for myself lately. It's embarrassing, really. I thought grown-ups weren't supposed to feel that way, but it turns out we totally do.

So, I'll do some knitting (leg-warmers, I know you want some); maybe take a bath with some new girly-smelling stuff I got in the mail today; maybe I'll work.

Or, you know, I'll go to bed on account of it being 9PM already.

/sigh

4 comments:

Jeannie said...

The hardest part of almost every thing is getting started. When you're a kid, you have your mom to force you to get started, as a grown-up, you must find your own motivators. Unfortunately, sometimes it's a tragedy that forces us to change. Other times, it's the wanting the change that is the tragedy. Being a grown-up is still harder than being a kid, though. Right?

brooke baker and then some said...

Really, we're not supposed to complain? Whoops!

Jade said...

Mom, not for me. I really hated being a kid, more than I can express. All the hardships I've faced as an adult are easier than those I faced as a kid. I felt utterly helpless as a child, knowing there was something more to life, more than being protected from some truths, more than having no control whatsoever over anything; I had very grown up ideas, but couldn't do anything with them.

Brooke Baker, I'm glad I'm not alone. :) (Hey, are you Ravenna's Brooke Baker?)

Jess said...

I hear you on the not-doing and restlessness. I'm in the process of working through some of that in the form of ridiculousness myself. If you'd like to compare notes, you know where to find me, chica! Here's sending you whatever it is you need - whether that be girly baths and knitting, some more firey activities, or any of the everything that's in between :) Hugs.

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