I started over meditating today. I peed, put on comfortable yoga pants, applied lip balm, and did 42 different things that would begin to bother me about ten seconds into the meditation if I didn't do them beforehand...
I set the timer for five minutes: I didn't think I could handle much more than that. I sat down, closed my eyes, and tried to clear my mind.
Anyone who has been meditating for any amount of time knows just how.fucking.hard that is. My mind refused to be cleared, simply would not cooperate with all the whirly thoughts in my head.
I also started over with a new-old friend: I went to lunch with an old girlfriend today, and now I'm flooded with memories I haven't dragged out of the back of my mind in over a decade. We weren't together long, but she was an important element during a pivotal period of my life.
And now, I think she'll be a good friend. I feel like Harry, of When Harry Met Sally... "Hmmm. A woman friend."
And just as I started to get control of my racing thoughts and really focus on my breathing and do the whole present moment awareness thing, the bloody timer sounded. Go figure.
After the meditation I did some really great downward-facing dog to plank to cat/cow series that makes my body heat up from head to toe and my triceps ache in a delicious way.