Monday, September 26, 2016

Writing prompt: I am so sick of

Oh, so many things!

…Racism and bigotry and hatred. It seems rampant. Because of media -social and otherwise- we have more access to it now than we ever did before. Is it worse? Some say no, that it's always been bad and we're just now seeing more of it. Because of technology, some of what we see might not even be a real representation of what is happening. A picture or a quote or even a video might not be entirely real. It might be altered or fictionalised to appear worse than it actually was. Or it might be cleaned up to downplay wrong-doing. Do we really need to compare though? Then versus now, ghetto or uptown, record or no record? Racially motivated violence or discrimination shouldn't be mitigated by whether or not a victim has a criminal record, or by how much better "they" have it. There is no "they" here and I am sickened and saddened by the distinctions being made. There is, however, a "we" and we need to all be on the same side.

…Not having enough time in the day. I am not great at time management, unfortunately. Some days I do wonderfully, and other days I spend all day trying to learn how to get comfortable walking around in my own skin, and there's no time for anything else. Today is a bad-skin day. I overslept by two hours; nothing I need to do today makes sense in my head.

I wrote this a few days or years or heartbeats ago, and it surprises me how up-and-down my emotions are. I'm feeling a bit less wrong-skinned today but I am recognising that it takes very little to throw me out of my element and out of balance with my own spirit. I feel as though there is an outside-me and an inside-me; they spin at the same time, only sometimes they spin in opposite directions. When outside-me is spinning in one direction and inside-me is spinning in the other… like a load of laundry, I'm out of balance and clunky; trying to be my best self but I have an internal wobble that just won't settle.

The Buddha said, "Whatever has the nature of arising has the nature of ceasing." And Paul, from Philippians 4:11, "Not that I speak in respect to want: for I have learned, in in whatsoever state I am in, therewith to be content." (emphasis is mine).

I find these words of wise men to be inspiring - what helps you when you feel like your spirit is out of balance?

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