Thursday, April 3, 2014

Journal day: biggest challenge

This week's Three weeks ago's journal prompt (oops), courtesy of Danielle at Sometimes Sweet, asks us to describe our biggest challenge.

I feel like I have a lot of challenges. Not in an ungrateful way, but you know... sometimes stuff is just hard to deal with for me. I have decide to focus on my daily challenge because that seems easier to wrap my writing-brain around.

My daily challenge is like a living, breathing monster. Not the conquerable kind like Bigfoot who I could trap and set on fire, or Loch Ness who I could harpoon and hack to pieces. More like that childhood nightmare-monster that changes shape and form and substance. One of those no-weapon-forged-will-overcome-it kinds of monsters.

My challenges have changed over the years of course, but these days I think it comes down to time management and the motivation to act. My life is pretty easy -I don't have children at home, my once overwhelmingly busy career has taken a turn toward the docile. I work from home and don't have a lot of demands on my time. I think I work best under pressure - the more extreme the better. For the most part I don't have pressure, extreme or otherwise; so the things I need to do: cooking, cleaning, crafting, studying, exercise - are almost perpetually put off because I have so much time to get them done that I never actually start.

And perhaps I struggle with priorities. I could sweep or cook or knit or study scripture or even work, but I'm cold so I'll just stand here in front of the fireplace and play iPhone games instead. It's not even that I particularly dislike any of the things I could or should be doing ( I am still learning to love cooking). My mind just doesn't feel any urgency to start right now.

I suppose, at the core of it, my biggest daily challenge is myself. I am more often than not my own worst enemy, my most vocal critic, and my biggest detractor. I am not sure how to overcome me – and believe me, I have tried - but I'm sure it starts with developing good goals

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