Giving up

The last time I observed Lent was 2012. I gave up coffee in preparation for my baptism as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I made a paper chain to count down the days and had milestones with rewards for myself: 2 days in I treated myself to a day off work and stayed in bed with a book all day; a week in I bought a gourmet hot chocolate with extra peppermint.

 I made it the full 6 weeks and then I drank all the coffee for a little over a week before I had enough and finally gave it up for good. The last coffee I had was mid-April 2012. I've given up many things since then, but that was my first big give-up in observance of Lent, and proved to me that I really can do hard things in the name of being obedient to new values. 

I grew up Catholic, though we weren’t strong practitioners of that faith. Even so, every year I fought with my mom because I thought giving up broccoli or cleaning my room were perfectly acceptable Lenten sacrifices.

 I never had a testimony of sacrifice, of denying the flesh. Not as a Catholic, certainly not as a Wiccan; not even as a Buddhist, which practice focuses on self-mastery and overcoming carnal pursuits. It took joining the Church, one that doesn’t strictly hold to Lent practices, for me to truly understand how it can draw me closer to my own spiritual needs, to having better control over that which does not serve me, and ultimately to Christ.

 I am imperfect at denying myself ... well, anything that I really want. I have an inner hedonist at my core that rarely gets to do what she wants. The part of me that wants to connect with my faith, with the self-mastery that comes with denying worldly pursuits and reflecting on what my spirit truly needs to thrive, is battling that girl inside me that wants all the stuff all the time.

 This year, I am going small and cutting out electronics after 9p. I tend to spend 2-3 hours at night, every night, on my phone. Scrolling social media, reading the news, filling my head and my heart with what can surely wait until the morning.

 My phone isn’t going into a box with a complicated locking mechanism. For those few people who reach out to me when they need to talk or vent, I love you forever and welcome your texts any time of the day or night. I’m just shutting out the electronic cacophony that darkens my spirit.

 I know a few folks who observe Lent- I’d love to hear your experiences, as you are willing to share them.

 May the spirit of Lent help you find peace.

Book report: Ink and Shadows

Through her characters, Ms. Adams displays exceptional grace to those who wrong others. Her writing is characterized by compassion- she touches on social issues in ways that seek to understand the marginalized and the victims, but also the villains of her stories. 

Ink and Shadows centers on four women who have grown close over their time in Miracle Springs; through their individual talents they uplift their community and do what they can to protect the core values of the small town: community, friendship, and protecting each other. 

When newcomers Celeste and Bren are targeted by the local busy-bodies, the Secret, Book, and Scone society gals offer their trademark friendship to rally around them.

Mystery, secrets, and scars from the past are ever-present in the newest installment - and, of course, book-lovers will take extra delight in seeing what Nora and Sheldon are up to at Miracle Books. Ellery Adams doesn’t disappoint this cozy mystery fan!

Thanks to Ellery Adams and Kensington Books for this advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.

Year in Review - 2020

Last year's focus word was Intention and my goal was to approach life with more awareness; to go about my days with more engagement, and not allow myself to slip into mindless behaviour or activities that would eat up my time.

At the start of the pandemic and during the first days of shelter-in-place orders, I went into a sort of vacation mode in my brain. Every day was a day without responsibilities; I already worked from home, so I had that routine down. But things like exercise, which I could no longer do with my work-out buddy in a classroom environment, eating healthy, bedtime routines... all of it ceased, immediately. And I never got it back on track.

I've always struggled with cleaning and cooking and the domestic aspects of life; when quarantine orders were issued, I abandoned even the small routines that kept my life running in an orderly manner. Not intentionally ... just sort of passively.

All around me I am seeing and reading about folks who are using their quarantine time to learn a new skill - COVID skills, they call them. Michelle Obama took up knitting and is making her family sweaters. Not only did I not take up a new skill, but I mostly abandoned all the things that bring me peace and clarity. My focus word didn't help me at all in 2020 - there I was, there I always am, struggling to face each moment with grace.

I am not sure precisely how I will change that in 2021 - I've chosen a new phrase for the year and I've got a list of things I want to do with my time. 

I am hesitantly hopeful about this year; I need an internal reset in the worst way, and I'm looking forward to seeing how I can accomplish that by letting go of the things that are keeping me... un-reset.

2020 Reading Wrap up

Here is what my year in books looked like:

130 total books - 46,734 pages
112 of those were audio
15 were physical books
2 were a combination physical + audio
1 was electronic that I read on my phone

11 of those books were written by people of colour; 1 by an LGTBQ+ author; 33 were written by women.

I had several 4 and 5 star reads this year - it was hard to choose 10 top faves.

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
The Chelsea Girls by Fiona Davis
An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon
The Cider House Rules by John Irving
The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
On the Come Up by Angie Thomas
State of Wonder by Ann Patchett
Anxious People by Fredrik Backman
Silver Sparrow by Tayari Jones
Midnight at the Blackbird Cafe by Heather Webber

My 2021 reading goal will include fairy tales - Grimms Brothers and Hans Christian Anderson; I am reading a couple epic series- Song of Ice and Fire (re-read) and Outlander- I'd like to dive into the next books of both these sets; and finally - more non-fiction.

Happy 2021, and happy reading!