Monday, December 31, 2012

The Beach

I used to say that the only time I felt the presence of God was at the beach. Being near the ocean was one of the few times in my life that I have felt a sort of whole-ness that I related to God… if God existed.

I have a new-found belief in God, and a completely different perspective; I believe in things I cannot see or eat. I have faith in things unproven. Not in a blind way, in a promised and promising way. But being near the ocean still feels me with a sense of something important. If a thing can feel peaceful and urgent at the same time, that's what it is. I feel like I have a reason for being, a purpose that tugs at my soul and ties me up in a fervor.

I don't get to the beach too often these days. I used to go once a year with a group of friends. Among those friends is my ex-husband; someone I still consider a friend, but not someone I can spend a weekend at the beach with.

My last trip to the beach was impromptu and short, but no less amazing for it. I felt God there, confirming that I have a purpose even if I don't know what it is. I felt simultaneously very small and quite large, in a way that I often don't.

So I laid on my belly and snapped this photo, of course.

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