Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Can I put an earring on a milk carton?

I'm struggling with acceptance today, or for the last 25 years. I lost an earring.

I know, enough said, right?

I got this very fancy-for-me pair of hand-made earrings at the local arts and crafts open-air market, shaped like music symbols (totally not a musician so I can't tell you which symbol. Suffice to say they are sexy).

I feel a deeper sense of loss and sadness than one silly pair of earrings seems to warrant. I mean, come on - I'm no stranger to loss. The life-changing losses I have experienced have taught me how to accept that some things just don't go right.

So why am I struggling? Because I really, really, really want to find this earring while recognising that it is the most ridiculous thing in the world to be sad-faced over. And I am coming to realise that the most traumatic loss I have faced in a long time is one lone, lost earring. The silliness of it doesn't lessen my sense of sad, but I can remember a time when I'd trade all the things of value -from shiny new earrings to every person I've ever cared about- for five more minutes with a dead loved one, or to repair that friendship I utterly destroyed in a moment of stupidity.

Perspective, right? The heart doesn't have physical memory of being broken. My brain remembers more serious losses, but the brick-wall of numbness and time cushions my heart and makes it susceptible to getting bruised because I lost a goddamned earring.

So, acceptance. And, apparently, some perspective. 'Cause, you know, some people can't afford shoes.

3 comments:

MargauxMeade said...

Thanks, Jade. I really needed to read this today--totally applies to some crap I've been going through this week.

And I hate it when I lose a really awesome earring. A couple things I've done with the remaining lone earring: Make a necklace out of it or wear just one, '80s style. :)

mosey said...

Balance also. Because yes, there are people worse off and yes, maybe in the grand scheme of things a lost earring (or a broken teacup) is not something to dwell on for too long.

But as I've learned with raising a child, it's important to feel and acknowledge the small and the large. That way we can feel compassion for others and also... ourselves?

But I hope you find an earring to replace the lost one...

Maggie May said...

this really resonated with me. sometimes the loss of an object is representative of an entire underworld of emotion.

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