Life story
Cataloguing a life is hard. I am trying to figure out where all the pieces fit and some of them don't make sense. Some things I don't remember clearly, and some experiences seem to belong to someone else. I frequently feel as if my past belongs to some other girl, especially when I sit down to tell the whole story.
What do you do when you don't know your own life story?
Comments
You have changed, yes, but you are still you.
And yet everything you have lived and experienced is not who you are. It is not your essence, your true Self. None of those things can truly define you because the essence of you is far greater, far bigger, and much more difficult (if not impossible)to put into language. What you have experienced and lived merely describes 'about you.'
Our lives are stories that we create each minute we live, they can help point us in the direction to find out who we really are if we pay attention, but be careful to not get bogged down by details. ;)
When I was in kindergarten I remember there was a big sink in the middle of the bathroom. It was a huge round sink with a bar around the bottom you stepped on to make the water come out. I remember a dozen little girls could stand around that sink and wash their hands. I remember the orange and brown mosaic tile on the floor, and the mirrors on the walls that were too tall to see in. I remember that bathroom like it was yesterday and not 32 years ago. But that doesn't change the fact that when I saw that bathroom a decade ago when I visited the school I realized the sink was so tiny, the tile was pink, and the mirrors were only a few feet off the floor - but I still continue to remember it the way I did when I was five. Even though I saw the same place as an adult, my brain still says the sink is huge and the tile was orange and brown.
It's all about perspective, and neuro-pathways and blah, blah...
I think trying to remember the past can be a fascinating and tedious exercise, and sometimes it's great fun. But like Aerolin said, don't let it define you. Because really, how much of the past matters now? That's up to you.