The
last time I observed Lent was 2012. I gave up coffee in preparation for my
baptism as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I made
a paper chain to count down the days and had milestones with rewards for
myself: 2 days in I treated myself to a day off work and stayed in bed with a
book all day; a week in I bought a gourmet hot chocolate with extra
peppermint.
I
made it the full 6 weeks and then I drank all the coffee for a little over a week
before I had enough and finally gave it up for good. The last coffee I had was mid-April 2012. I've given up many things since then, but that was my first big give-up in observance of Lent, and proved to me that I really can do hard things in the name of being obedient to new values.
I
grew up Catholic, though we weren’t strong practitioners of that faith. Even
so, every year I fought with my mom because I thought giving up broccoli or
cleaning my room were perfectly acceptable Lenten sacrifices.
I
never had a testimony of sacrifice, of denying the flesh. Not as a Catholic,
certainly not as a Wiccan; not even as a Buddhist, which practice focuses on
self-mastery and overcoming carnal pursuits. It took joining the Church, one
that doesn’t strictly hold to Lent practices, for me to truly understand how it can draw me closer to my own spiritual needs, to having better control over that which does not serve me, and ultimately to Christ.
I am
imperfect at denying myself ... well, anything that I really want. I have an
inner hedonist at my core that rarely gets to do what she wants. The part of me
that wants to connect with my faith, with the self-mastery that comes with
denying worldly pursuits and reflecting on what my spirit truly needs to
thrive, is battling that girl inside me that wants all the stuff all the time.
This
year, I am going small and cutting out electronics after 9p. I tend to spend 2-3
hours at night, every night, on my phone. Scrolling social media, reading the
news, filling my head and my heart with what can surely wait until the morning.
My
phone isn’t going into a box with a complicated locking mechanism. For those
few people who reach out to me when they need to talk or vent, I love you
forever and welcome your texts any time of the day or night. I’m just shutting
out the electronic cacophony that darkens my spirit.
I
know a few folks who observe Lent- I’d love to hear your experiences, as you
are willing to share them.
May
the spirit of Lent help you find peace.
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