Aunt Janet

I married into a large family- my husband has lots of aunts and uncles and cousins. I don’t know most of them very well; they're scattered around between California, Arizona, and Tennessee (and possibly other places - I honestly need a chart to figure out some of the extended family) and we don't see each other often enough.

We lost one of those aunts the day after Christmas. Aunt Janet was one of the kindest people I have ever met. I had heard quite a lot about her and her husband before I ever met her. Steve stayed with them one summer when he was young and has fond memories of that time and his connection with them both, and with their daughters.

I liked Aunt Janet and Uncle Wes straight off- partly because of the memories Steve shared but also because of the kindness they showed me. Uncle Wes was very ill by the time I met him and that time of their lives was probably so hard on Aunt Janet. Even so, she made me feel like I belonged in the family. I had an opportunity to talk with her during a family reunion and she listened to me with such genuine interest that I loved her immediately. She made me feel special every time I saw her. 

Unfortunately for me, I only saw her a few times. When I heard that she passed away, my first incredibly selfish thought was that I wished I’d had more time to get to know her. I attended her funeral service this past weekend and through the memories shared by her daughter and others, I was able to see a little more of Aunt Janet. She was indeed kind; she was also loving, and is known in her family and community as someone always willing to help others. 

One of her daughters gave a talk and described an occasion where Aunt Janet was loading boxes with food out of her own cupboard; big boxes, filled with food. When questioned by her young daughter, Janet remarked that one need not look very far to see someone whose need was greater than their own. Not only was Janet loving, she also taught those around her about charity and compassion as those boxes were anonymously delivered to families whose need was greater than Janet’s.

I heard so many people describing Janet as someone who would immediately and quietly fill a need. Someone who loved others and showed kindness to those around her. Someone who had endured so much, and used those trials to strengthen herself and her faith. Someone who had hope and a strength of character. 

When I think of Aunt Janet, I think of someone who inspires others to be their best self; to learn from trials; to not give up on hope and faith when life is bleak. I am saddened that I will not have a chance in this life to get to know her better; but I am grateful to be part of her eternal family and see her again on the other side of the veil.

I was able to get a few photos at the service.

 

In St. David, the family digs the grave in the cemetery. This group of shovels waits for eager hands to put them to work. The grave is dug the day before the service, and then it's filled in after the casket is lowered into it.

 

 

Everybody helps. Men in their suits and ties; children as soon as they are big enough to hold shovel; ladies in dresses and fancy shoes.

 

There's something remarkably touching about seeing the family gather round and shovel. This foot belongs to my daughter. She worked alongside the rest of the family as several people took turns filling the grave (and occasionally her shoe). Seeing her there, covered in sweat and dirt, doing her part to honour Aunt Janet made my heart swell with both pride and sadness. In the few days we were together, we did so much: we played games, we laughed and had silly moments; we got dirty together and we mourned an aunt, a sister, a mother, a role model, and a beautiful soul.

 

Thinking of Aunt Janet these past couple of years without Uncle Wes makes my heart break. For the rest of us still labouring at life, my heart also breaks.

 

 

As Aunt Janet and Uncle Wes are together again, so are the rest of us. Scattered around though we may be we share a bond of love, faith, and the knowledge that families are eternal. We are separated by time, distance, and mortality but we will meet again and oh, what a joyous reunion that will be.