Journal Day: Room for improvement

Journal Prompt #11, from Danielle at Sometimes Sweet:

Sometimes it can be hard to hear criticism from others. I know for me it's something I may always struggle with- being a people pleaser, etc. At the same time though, constructive criticism can be very helpful, and allow us to look at ourselves in a new light and maybe even grow and change. Take a step out of yourself. If you were on the outside looking in, how would you critique yourself? What things do you see that could change or work on? This isn't about tearing ourselves down; it's about really looking at ourselves and seeing where there's room for growth.

I found this in my drafts from... last year? The year before? I used to do these journal prompts, but clearly I didn't do them all. Usually when I find drafts like this I smile with fondness, usually not remembering what I was going to say, and delete them. I don't even know if Danielle is still doing these prompts, but it seems worth writing about.

What could I observe about myself that I need to work on? It's the time of year when built-in reflection seems so appropriate; new year, new goals, new beginnings so I've been thinking quite a bit about what I need to work on. For several years now I have chosen a theme for my year rather than "making resolutions" and I'm finding myself in need of several such themes (for those of you who have followed me long enough, you'll notice that in itself is a theme of mine: make a plan, abandon it; make a new plan with more focus and bigger goals, also to be abandoned. Whatever.)

Fitness: You know the term "fat and happy"? Well, that's me. My life is full of love and friendship and all the things that fulfill my soul and for me that means that I don't exercise. No yoga, no running, no contemplative walks with my camera. These things also fill my soul, but I'm not doing them. Why? That's the mystery, but I can change it without understanding it, right?

Artistic ability: I have a piano, a guitar, and a camera. I am a novice (or whatever less-than-a-novice is) at all of them. I need more music in my life.

Spiritual development: I'm not really suffering in this area, but I'm not maximizing myself either. I spend time scrolling through my Facebook feed that goes far beyond "catching up" with my various interests/responsibilities there. It's impacting my ability to concentrate on the written word, and to really focus on other, more important tasks.

I had an employee once who hated me. She didn't care for my management style and did not have any regard for the concept that as her manager/a human being I deserved a bare minimum of respect. She often said things that were so disrespectful they almost seemed designed to elicit a response from me. Because I'm not the sort to be manipulated in that way, I refused to give her any response except to thank her for her feedback and promise her that I would consider her position in my decision-making. It took her a little while, but she started to be a little more constructive in her criticism of me and a little less disrespectful. While I didn't appreciate her attitude, I was able to really listen to her complaints and find some thread of something that I could use to be a better manager. I'm grateful for that exercise, and the ability to turn it into something positive.