Oops

Sometime when I was growing up, I heard the phrase, "if you've learned something today, it was a worthwhile day". I've heard a few variations on this saying, and it's always stuck in my head. I like learning. I like learning new things. I like learning new things about myself. Sometimes I learn new things about myself that I should have known before age thirty, so I'm a little behind.

• I have learned not to eat macaroni and cheese and Apple Jacks too closely together.

When I was growing up, my mom cooked. She cooked a weeks' worth of meals on Sunday and froze them, so we'd have home-cooked meals together each day of the week, no matter how tired she was from all her jobs. We didn't eat out very often, being virtually on the edge of poverty. We didn't each macaroni and cheese, and we certainly didn't eat sugared breakfast cereals. I wasn't allowed to eat cereal until I was a teenager, and even then I didn't have it for breakfast. They were snacks, the sort kids eat after school. When my friends were eating burgers and pizza after school, I went home for sugared breakfast cereal.

Whenever I feel sick, or sad, or lazy, or unhappy, I crave shitty food; the kind that makes me fat, and makes me sick to my stomach. Mr. J is the perfect husband, and will go to the store at any hour for me. Today, he went for macaroni and cheese and Apple Jacks, and now my stomach is gross.