Happiness lists

While roaming around Powell's books a few days ago after dinner, I found this notepad. I think Mr. J was quite concerned that I'd buy it and leave happiness slips around the house for him. I was tempted, but I settled for a photograph instead.

Then I read this in The Artist's Way:

Many of us find that we have squandered our own creative energies by investing disproportionately in the lives, hopes, dreams, and plans of others.

And I got to thinking about I have squandered my own creative energies by investing disproportionately in the well-being of others. Of one other, specifically, and how that didn't really work out for me. And I got to thinking about RHG's lists and I decided to call my notepad "things I must do to make me happy", because why should I rely on someone else to do that for me? Additionally, as a by-product of putting all my emotional energy into a man who took his own life, I find that I spare very little of my own energy making others happy nowadays. I require that the people in my life do that for themselves, and I make myself largely unavailable as a resource for that happiness. My loved ones either gain happiness from being around me, or they do not. And if they do not, I don't take responsibility for that.

I am also a fan of the lists, and here is today's list of things that make me happy:

• Roller skating
• Freshly brewed coffee
• That Mr. J and I can do completely separate things and still enjoy one another's company
• Blogging

Now I'm going to take my freshly brewed coffee into the bathroom and get myself sexy for the roller skating.

In happiness ...