Anniversary(s)

Stephen and I celebrated a couple anniversaries in the last few weeks; June 30th marked our 8 year wedding anniversary and July 18th was our 5 year sealing anniversary (a sealing is a temple wedding ceremony for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). 

I had plans to do a little gushing on social media about how fantastic my husband is, but I made the mistake of looking at my 'memories' on Facebook and found this from my mother-in-law: 

Nancy was a another mom to me, and anyone who knows me (I'm looking you, first-mom) knows that moms sort of bring out the rebellion in me. I don't like to be told what to do; I don't like to be counselled, or advised, or warned. I don't like it when other people know better than I do what's good for me, and I especially don't like other women telling me what's what.

Nancy had a way of speaking to me that didn't tap into that rebellion. She had a bit of magic about her that soothed me. I'm a little un-soothable, so I'm not sure how she managed it.

She helped me see when I was being too hard on myself; and she helped me understand when I was being an ass. She brought a grace to my soul that I didn't have before I knew her, and that I fear I've lost now that she's gone. I am desperately clinging to the vestiges of that grace in the hopes that she isn't looking down on me, shaking her head at my awkward attempts to do life without her.

The nice part is that she raised a whole mess of people, formally and informally, who are among my favourite people. I miss her terribly, but I'm grateful to be surrounded by those who reflect her love and her gentle spirit.

Especially her number one son, who always makes me feel loved and never minds it when my crazy leaks out.