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I am on a plane. My mother is with me and we're going somewhere exciting. The airport we're in is chaotic, crazy with the busy-ness of men and women, babies and electric scooters and security with M16s. After we are settled in our seats my mom leaves. I don't see her again.
Sometime later, I find myself in the backseat of a car. A woman is with me and she has given me a shot in my neck, a drug to make me pass out. I am afraid of her, afraid of being passed out with her. We are both naked and I feel like she will rape me. I feel desperate and afraid.
I realize that I am on the verge of giving up, of giving in to victim hood. I become angry with myself and begin screaming. The car I'm in is parked in a busy lot, near shoppes and other cars. It's daylight and traffic is heavy, people going to and from their cars all around me. I begin pounding on the glass and screaming as loudly as I can. My voice comes out angry and hoarse and powerful, not panicked and frightened. Everyone ignores me, my warrior-like cries not inspiring them to rescue me.
The woman laughs and looks at me with amused tolerance, as though I am a misbehaving child. Unconsciousness eats at my vision. As awareness leaves me, I feel her hands on me and inside me, and I fade away.
2 comments:
Oh, honey. I am sorry for this difficult dream. I'm not sure about the first part of your dream (want to think on that some more), but I have some ideas to share about the second part.
The woman with you is the Feminine. You see Her as conniving, dangerous, manipulative; She is not to be trusted. You are terrified that the Feminine is going to invade you, damage you, traumatize you, and scar you. You see the Feminine, if allowed in to your Self, as the ultimate Victim. The masculine energy within you (right now, yours is "contrary") rails at the idea of being made a victim, but it is no match for the Feminine. And the Feminine knows this.
This is a big dream. I think of all energies as having contrary and upright positions and expressions, just like in tarot. When you - as in yourself - look at the Feminine, all you see is contrary, the notions that society and the patriarchy have ingrained and spread; a lot of which aren't even true Feminine contrary expressions. You align more easily with the Masculine, but even your Masculine energy leans toward contrary - the stereotypical traits associated with the masculine.
I see this dream as a forewarning to find out (and if the Mama is anything with you like She is with me, She wants you to do this quickly) what the Feminine really is because the Mama wants you. Not to traumatize you, manipulate you, hurt you, but to Love you and to see you grow into who She knows you really are.
Everything you say resonates with me; I had also thought the woman with me was the Feminine as I mistakenly see Her. I see Her negative qualities and I see letting Her into me as an advancement of that victim-hood.
I think the first part of my dream also represented the Feminine to me; my mom, but not really *my* mom, but the Mother, and being abandoned by Her. Though, in truth, it's really me who has done the abandoning, but I think I see myself as abandoned by Her somehow, then reappearing for me in this awful form.
Thank you for your input here; I've been having a lot of dreams about being somehow victimized or abandoned by women, when in actuality it's always been the men in my life who do the victimizing and abandoning.
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